Anchorless

Where does cluttered life come from?

I don’t know all the reasons in my own life — let alone anyone else’s — but one aspect of my own cluttered existence might have clues in a need for an anchor in this turbulent life. Perhaps others can work without a net and can launch out on their own without a firm anchorage or base camp. But I am not that sort.

I have heard that a person who was insecure in their relationships; and who had low self esteem; might end up turning to toys as friends when other children do not become that emotional outlet. This lack might increase if for some reason that self confidence doesn’t develop during school years. Deep within, objects take on the position of friends. That means that to get rid of an object that has long been in your possession is like abandoning a close friend. Someone who might already be a bit sensitive would have problems with that.

I think that this would be how they felt as a child and so getting rid of their possession feels like they are abandoning someone — even if they never really had been abandoned.

I was insecure and had little self confidence — this is true. I also feel an emotional attachment to objects. I always have for as long as I can remember — even from before I was 5-years-old.

Now the rub is that even with this self realization, I feel nearly helpless. This is because the feelings are real and I am tortured with the thoughts of giving up prized possessions. I dreaded being given the family couch when my parents bought a new living room set. This is because I knew it would be very, very difficult for me to get rid of.

It took a monumental effort to cast off that couch and I was nearly at a break-down point at the time. Other issues happening with regards to the move I was being forced to make at the time had me at the breaking point already.

I simply didn’t have a place to put a couch in my new suite. I could at least keep the armchair rocker from the living room set. That really helped — along with me bracing for the separation for weeks.

I don’t know how to separate those feelings I attribute to objects. I try. I am also very logical — as well as emotional — and it is very stressful trying to cope with the illogic of the whole situation. Objects do not have feelings and I should not be attached to objects — especially when the attachment is harmful and the emotions attributed to the objects might even be painful ones.

Anyhow, that is a glimpse into some reasons behind clutter. It is hard not to gain clutter when objects become friends. Objects become anchors that hold us to our lives… other people could anchor themselves to friends… or some could anchor to locations. But when we are taken from our safe locations, our possessions become our anchors… makes you think about the homeless with their shopping carts, doesn’t it?

~ Dusty
D Cluttermouse.

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